{{Editor's Note: Mr. McArmachy joins us after relinquishing his former newsletter, "This here's my dern country," to another publisher who harvests semi-automatic rifles in the wake of what he describes as "the coming conflict". Mr. McArmachy has a bulletproof interior office, not to protect him, but to protect the rest of our staff from his errant, ricocheting ammunition that often goes off after he watches CNN.}}
ProfessionallyCatchy.com cannot claim credit for the center picture, which was expertly created by someone in cyberspace. I have attempted to find the artist without avail, so unfortunately that artist cannot be credited here. It's been floating around the internet in any case. The quote seemed appropriate. We added that.
At least it's nice of Mr. Obama to be bipartisan, taking the most ludicrous and hypocritical values on both sides of the fence and incorporating them into an administration that marries Liberal values like government dependence, creative taxation, and feel-good legislation with Neoconservative values like imperialist warfare, disrespect for constitutional rights, and egregious overspending.
President Obama has proven that he can unite the two opposing viewpoints that President Bush never could. Now we can have ALL of the pillars of an intrusive government on BOTH sides of the political spectrum. Could we have elected a more brilliant man? Could any nation?
President Obama, you have won the hearts of us all. We have taken down the photo of Lyndon Baines Johnson and replaced it with a painting of you. You are depicted on top of a mountain, holding a golden staff to the sky as clouds rain money down upon the companies you save with your mighty hand. Your predecessor and junior, Dubya, looks upon you in awe as you hold all--the sword, the purse, and the love of the people.
We burn the Constitution in your honor, because your wisdom as a half-black man will, more often than not, exceed the wisdom of a document written by rich white men 200 years ago. After all, those white men didn't have the same experiences that you did.
