Well, looks like ColorofChange.org doesn't exactly know how to ruin a career. They ignore the fact that, like Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck uses his shock-power as a generator for more publicity. By declaring war on him, all they really serve to do is get more people to watch his three-ring circus on television. Regardless of the public perception, more viewers = more advertising exposure for companies.
When's the last time you actually boycotted a product? Seriously? Even if you get 2 million people to do it, there's still 298 million left in the country, not to mention the fact that the people who are crying about Beck never agreed with him or watched his show in the first place.
I'm not defending the dude. He's a moron. But so are Bill O'Reilly, Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Ed Shultz, Nancy Grace, Sean Hannity...do I need to go on? These people LIVE on their outrageous statements, and by declaring them to be so very bad, you're also declaring them an important part of national politics, which they most certainly aren't (or shouldn't be, anyway).
What ColorofChange.org should be MORE concerned about is the fact that there are people who believe Glenn. That's not really Glenn's fault--he's just the clown in front of the camera. the real issue is far more systemic--it's that people like him are made into bigger news than they need to be by...
...well, the people at ColorofChange.org, for one.
I decided to use their petition to get the real message to Beck's advertisers, one that makes a little more sense than "OMG STOP MARKETING YOUR BRAND WITH A HIGHLY-RATED SHOW." Beck's got high ratings because everyone's drawing attention to him.
The commercials that appear during any show are as disconnected from our minds as any other advertisement. DO you remember on which show you saw that last Palm Pre commercial? No, you just know that commercial sucks, and that you're going to buy a Palm Pre anyway because it's an awesome fucking phone. You don't know or care which show it was running during anymore than you care whose property that shitty ING billboard was on.
When I signed ColorofChange.org's petition, here's the personal message I attached for the advertisers:
Attached is a message that you'll be getting from a lot of butthurt people complaining about Glenn Beck. Since morons like Glenn are all over television and not just on FOX News, I implore you to ignore colorofchange.org's whinefest about this one dude and not let your marketing of your brand be affected by a couple of crybabies who believe, in silly hyperbole, that Beck is the root of all injustice. He may be crazy and stupid (and probably illiterate), but his ratings are high, and I can guarantee that all the people complaining about him spend their time watching his show so that they can flip out about him on their protest website some more. In the meantime--they'll ALSO be watching your advertisements. Bonus, no?
Maybe the folks at ColorofChange.org could find better ways to spend their time than to attack a retarded flailing imp that doesn't have (and never had) any left-wing support to begin with.
Let's say they win and he gets taken off the air. Okay. Now what? Everything is sunshine and cupcakes and we all sing songs around equality square? I don't like either party, but the lefties are sure good at illustrating why the righties are better at grasping and holding the reins of power.
Who gets the bigger audience, whining crybabies, or furious morons?
Furious morons will win every time, and this is why Keith is losing to Bill, and why ColorofChange.org is destined only to make Beck a furious moron with an even larger viewer base. Way to go, crybabies.
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 26 August 2009 13:31 )
Because Terror Unites Us All.
Friday, 05 June 2009 18:05
Kespert McArmachy
{{Editor's Note: Mr. McArmachy joins us after relinquishing his former newsletter, "This here's my dern country," to another publisher who harvests semi-automatic rifles in the wake of what he describes as "the coming conflict". Mr. McArmachy has a bulletproof interior office, not to protect him, but to protect the rest of our staff from his errant, ricocheting ammunition that often goes off after he watches CNN.}}
ProfessionallyCatchy.com cannot claim credit for the center picture, which was expertly created by someone in cyberspace. I have attempted to find the artist without avail, so unfortunately that artist cannot be credited here. It's been floating around the internet in any case. The quote seemed appropriate. We added that.
At least it's nice of Mr. Obama to be bipartisan, taking the most ludicrous and hypocritical values on both sides of the fence and incorporating them into an administration that marries Liberal values like government dependence, creative taxation, and feel-good legislation with Neoconservative values like imperialist warfare, disrespect for constitutional rights, and egregious overspending.
President Obama has proven that he can unite the two opposing viewpoints that President Bush never could. Now we can have ALL of the pillars of an intrusive government on BOTH sides of the political spectrum. Could we have elected a more brilliant man? Could any nation?
President Obama, you have won the hearts of us all. We have taken down the photo of Lyndon Baines Johnson and replaced it with a painting of you. You are depicted on top of a mountain, holding a golden staff to the sky as clouds rain money down upon the companies you save with your mighty hand. Your predecessor and junior, Dubya, looks upon you in awe as you hold all--the sword, the purse, and the love of the people.
We burn the Constitution in your honor, because your wisdom as a half-black man will, more often than not, exceed the wisdom of a document written by rich white men 200 years ago. After all, those white men didn't have the same experiences that you did.
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 26 August 2009 13:28 )
An issue of race, discrimination, re-scrimination, double standards, slip ups, misunderstandings, bowling, monkeys, and the disabled.
Saturday, 21 March 2009 09:58
Saxby Reptilia
{{EDITOR'S NOTE: Mr. Reptilia was forcably removed from our offices following the insensitive post. The chimpanzee pictured was actually a Cambridge and Maynooth Scholar, and had some very powerful friends. In the interest of transparency, we are leaving this post as is, because it is a valuable teachable moment for both our readers and the remaining staff here at ProfessionallyCatchy.com. In the meantime, rest assured that Mr. Reptilia will no longer be welcome in our offices, or on the street out front, where he has been known to hurl feces at other staff members.}}
I suppose I'm just confused as to why people weren't protesting outside the white house calling for the shutdown of the Executive Branch, or at least calling for public speaking opportunities to boycott President Obama's mouth. After all, we learned how to properly react to these types of situations from the New York Post incident, didn't we? One was a misunderstanding, the other was a slip of the tongue. Which is less offensive?*
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 26 August 2009 13:22 )
Huxley's "Brave New World" gets less Dystopian every day
Sunday, 08 February 2009 09:20
Wax Threads
So let's face it--earth isn't becoming a happier place to live in the next three years or so, if we listen to our leaders or any of the fringe crazies that were dissapointed enough by y2k to go find a less popular religion's reset date and claim once again, with certainty, THAT date marks the end of the world.
I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the state of our economic system and the shiny new president who thinks digging a bigger hole is the only thing to do. "We need to act," even if that action is a waste of resources spent bailing out a ship that's already beneath the surface and halfway to the bottom.
We can all agree that 1984 would suck. There's no doubt about that. Victory Gin. Yup. That's pretty much all I need to say. Old razors. Enough?
Zamyatin's "We" had such an odd vibe to it. Everything made out of glass, everyone building the INTEGRAL, but instead of Big Brother looking over your shoulder, contradicting himself more than the good book, you have math. Them's the laws. I could see how that would suck for a lot of people, but I'd make it. J-707. Sign me up.
But hey--Brave New World. Ultra-low crime rate. Technology's kicking ass. Sure, there's a rigid caste system in place based off of an entirely impersonal mass infant breeding program known as Bokanovsky's Process, but is that really so bad? Rearing, Education, Job--all taken care of. Plus, 5 dozen twins! Bonus, no? Say what you want about BNW's society--the world controllers aren't bad guys, people who can't deal with the system are allowed to live on colonies outside it, recreation activites seem awesome--would Brave New World really be all that terrible?
So long as I'm being taxed, I'd rather have some soma, obstacle golf and casual sex than expenditures on mismanaged wars and mismanaged banks. Maybe at the end of the next four years, people will be sufficiently screwed enough by both parties to vote for my newly formed ticket--the Fordism Party.
Last Updated ( Sunday, 08 February 2009 10:14 )
Blogojevich to join ranks of great politicians by being imprisoned
Tuesday, 27 January 2009 21:22
Saxby Reptilia
"I have this delusion which I know is a delusion, that I'll wake up sometime, like tomorrow morning, and then maybe they'll realize that there's just one big misunderstanding here."
-Rob Blogojevich, MSNBC 1/27/09
Yes Rob, that is quite a delusion. Quite a delusion indeed.
